The consumption of alcohol happens to be a necessary factor in my pursuit of sexual relationships with men.
I am sure some may find my choices to be problematic, blending liquor and sex and emotion and passion together like a fearsome hurricane. I find it quite normative, and in line with most of my generation’s attitudes towards dating. Alcohol and dating go hand in hand; I go on dates in bars, I meet men at bars, and I happen to start every sexual relationship I’ve ever had in… you guessed it… a bar. There is a certain ease and comfort in dating in a bar. There is cultural currency there, and it absolutely informs my decisions over who I choose to date and how I date. I don’t date for love; I date to fuck. And bars happen to be great places for meeting single attractive males who might be interested in casual sex.
Dating and drinking have nothing to do with having any type of alcohol dependency. While I occasionally drink alone, I very rarely drink to excess even on “wild nights out”. I do not drink to get drunk. I rarely ever blackout from drinking. I like to socialize with alcohol, but by no means do I socialize exclusively with alcohol. I mostly drink in moderation. I drink because I want to, not because I need to. I feel no compulsion towards alcohol that would qualify my behavior as addictive.
I like the taste of certain beers, whiskeys, tequilas, and wine. I like cocktails. I appreciate the atmosphere of bars and lounges and clubs. I can take it or leave it–but I usually take it! I enjoy the craft of beer and mixology. I love the culture of booze: the writers, the celebrities, the urban legends, and sometimes even the politics. I prefer lagers and hefes over summer ales and IPAs. I drink stouts as appetizers and Irish coffees as desserts. I have discovered a love for jalapeno tequila cocktails–the tang of juice mixed with the searing, back of throat burn of the pepper. I drink whiskey with smashed ginger, ginger beer, ginger ale, on the rocks. If it’s an Irish whiskey and I’m feeling brazen, neat. Depending on the bar, I’ll experiment and try a drink special or branch out to a different brand of liquor. And unless it’s a Moscow Mule, I don’t ever drink vodka.
I like small, dark bars. I like the homey, wood paneled bars with cozy chairs and stools that remind me of the finest pubs in Dublin. I like the quirky or eccentric theme bars decorated to look like hunting or ski lodges, circuses, arcades, western saloons, forests. I like old local haunts pungent with the lingering scents of cigarettes and beer, perhaps fried food, and when you leave you can smell it all on your clothes.
Drinking, like sex, is all about the experience. It’s important to have limits and boundaries; to separate what is okay from what is not okay, what feels safe from what feels scary or dangerous. It’s okay to stop. It’s okay to go. And sometimes you make a big mess and a fool of yourself, and you put your head back up the next day and pick up the pieces.